Amen to Jane. Amen to Kristin. I had TWO free days this week, because of an emotional pot getting stirred, and stupid all-or-nothing thinking about it afterwards (sooo sorry Dan). And as I went to bed, feeling gross, the thought occurred to me that 45 pounds ago, I used to feel this way aaaall the time. Feeling this way even once a week is starting to be not-so-great, but feeling this way twice this week? YUCK.
Actually, Kristin, I learned something years ago at Weight Watchers about the 10th one tasting like the first. It really kind of doesn't. They said the first and second bite of dessert is absolutely heaven. As is the one you THINK is going to be the last. Which is why we slap people when they take it. :) So, theoretically, three bites should make you very happy. When I actually do that, I gotta tell you - three bites really is enough!
The thing that is so great about this contest is that it forces us, in our lives that are so chaotic, to do some of these unconscious things more intentionally. Gang, I submit to you that we may not even be living intentionally, much less eating intentionally. We just go through so many motions because of the pace! Didn't we hear somebody, really wise, and darling, and German, recently try to compare slowing down to flying an airlplane, or something? I'm probably mixing it up, but I swear I heard somebody tell me, in a darling German accent, to SLOW DOWN. I believe that has to do with living more intentionally. We are agents of our own lives, we are creatures to act, not to be acted upon, which means we are not just drifting in this river filled with rapids - we have a paddle! This contest is helping us to do something intentionally that we have not been paying attention to for a very, very long time.
So, we do it wrong. We drift along, then we remember we have a paddle, and since we haven't been using it, we are complete spazzes and still paddle over a waterfall! We try again. We get it wrong. We do it again. We write it down. We do it wrong. We do it again. We get it right! We get it wrong. We do it again. WE KEEP ON.
We can do this! Not perfectly. It's that stinkin' up the place thing. I stunk up the place yesterday. I knew I had to teach students from 2:00 p.m. till 7:00 p.m. yesterday, and since I got a late start, I KNEW I was no way going to get 5 meals in. I knew I would have to deduct at least 6 points, possibly 12, because of my poor planning. What did I do? Instead of getting my butt in gear and adjusting, and losing only 6 points, I ended up losing THIRTY-TWO points, because I just threw in the towel and lost my transformation points! All-or-nothing thinking STINKS ON ICE!
So, this morning, hungover and ashamed, what do I do? Maybe best line ever in a movie, Batman Begins: "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again." Purpose of life, my friends. Purpose of life. Back to the treadmill. Back to the carrots. Repenting is starting over. Over, and over, and over again.
I haven't succumbed to all-or-nothing thinking like yesterday in a very, very long time. And I'm writing about it this morning so I can look at it for the stinkin' thinkin' that it is. Sorry to always bring it around to religion, but really, people. This is one of Satan's best tools. He has this silver, satin tongue, that croons to us as we walk gullibly, or march willfully, into one of his traps. Then, once the trap has sprung, his voice becomes deadly, toxic, fatal: "Well, now you've done it. You'll never change. blah, blah, blah, ______ (fill in your own favorite self-loathing speech)."
This contest is helping me change. Not as fast as I'd like. We can never DO as good as we KNOW. That's why we have to keep PRACTICING. Dan, I'm back. I'm sorry about the points penalty, but progress, not perfection, right?
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